OCD

Friends they are these special people we spend most of time with other than our family. I am not a very social kind of a person. I have very few friends, with whom I'm very close with( Actually that's a wrong statement). I should say whom I was very close with. As you know I am single, however all my friends are married and settled. Fortunately and unfortunately (for me) they are so busy with their lives. Not that I'm not happy. I am very happy for them. But sometimes I really miss them because they don't have the time to catch up obviously.

So I used to call them to catch up. I had a few really bad experiences ( cant say bad )when I called. Either there are busy with their kids and husband or taking care of in laws and stuff , or their wives feel jealous. I usually don't like disturbing them. But I as the title says I have a problem OCD. You know what is OCD right. Obsessive compulsive disorder. (It is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something)

My obsession is to make people feel special . I have weird alarm fixed in my head , which rings specially on the days of Birthday's ,Anniversaries etc. Now you must be wondering why that is a problem as a matter of fact it is good to remember people's birthday . even I don't differ that . However it is annoying to few especially my friend's better half's . Once I called my best friend to wish her on her birthday at 12 in the night. Later I came to know that her husband was annoyed that I called in the middle of the night. Later I had a similar experience with another friend of mine but this time his wife was jealous that I wished him before her. So I had to stop my OCD.

However OCD itself means that untill unless I do the task I get restless. I have this alarm ringing in my head which doesn't even have a snooze button which we can re-set for another time. My heart gets racing and leaves me restless till I finish the job not only that I ll not even have a relief if I wish them on their wall ( FB /orkut/twitter etc). Because of this stupid birthday reminder's on the social networking sites every other person wishes you on your birthday. Let He/ She be your best friend or just an acquaintance and my problem is to make them feel special. So I aid the next best option texting. I dont even want their better half's to feel jealous so I wait 5 mins and text them at 12:05. Those 5 mins are longest I tell you. And another benefit from texting is I can even text my friends (no matter what ever gender they are) even in the night . Not only that I can be relieved. though its partial but something is better than nothing right.

But I have found that my OCD doesn't get satisfied with that. Why??? Because obviously the acknowledgment is important. Initial years I used to get a thank you text in response. Now as years are passing by people are too busy to acknowledge a wish. Arrrrgh! Now I stopped expecting a reply.And recently I have decided to go to a therapist to get rid of myOCD. Why should I bother when people whom I call friends are to busy to respond. That"s It. Im going to the therapist.

Even though I have mentally prepared myself to forget birthday's and stuff. I called my friend on his birthday. He didn't pick up. I remembered his over possessive wife. So I sent him a text . No reply. I called in the morning again to wish but again. I was at church that time I promised myself I will never wish him again or any friend. But exactly after 4 days I have another friend's birthday( kya karoon aadat se majboor hoon). As my alarm ( i mean my brain alarm) rang on my friend's birthday. I resisted for sometime. But soon I gave up. But this time I choose to text than call , I have sent a msg wishing happiness ,health etc etc. I didn't expect an acknowledgement because this friend of mine is too busy with life that we literally have'nt spoken from years. So after sending the text I slept.

Somewhere in the afternoon my phone was ringing.. I don't have many people calling me mostly family and a friend. And I even know what time they call . You will not believe but I even know the timings of my texts. I get a few Snap deal msg in the morning, Airtel dth msg in the afternoon and one spl msg from my sister at 3:30 mostly praising the food I have packed. Now a days I don't even get marketing calls as I have enrolled in DNC (Do not call list). I looked at my phone it was an unknown number. Thinking twice (because recently an anonymous caller gave me tough time) I picked the call and said hello, to my surprise. Its my friend whose birthday was on that day. We spoke for a while my friend was so happy that I never forget any occasion. And thanked me that how I made my friend feel very special When I finished talking there is this smile on my face and a huge feeling of satisfaction in my heart. Which made me decide that no matter what. or how people react , or not react I will not give up my OCD because how busy they get , how far away they are and how happy their life is. A call or text on their birthday or any happy occasion from a friend will bring a smile on their face and make them feel special.

But just that I have to set my birthday alarm on different time. Not at 12 am :P